there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
