so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize