shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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