sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I hate all girls vehemently.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
