so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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