The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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