Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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