yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
home. puking in laundry basket.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
