The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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