I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
