it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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