hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
