im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
