the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
