I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
