Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
