Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
