I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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