there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
