He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
