you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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