what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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