Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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