The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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