why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
