just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
