Slut skills are useful in every country.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
