I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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