Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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