You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
