im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
