How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I AM VODKA MAN
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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