Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
