Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize