well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
