were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
