weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
