We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
