drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
