So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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