Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
