Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sext me about skeletons
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
