So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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