i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
