just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
