so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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