just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
