So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
