Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
