Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
