i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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