I will die if light touches me.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
