was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize