Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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