She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
