Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
