I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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