I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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