i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
