Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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