like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize