Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
