my mouth tastes like poor choices
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
