apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize