If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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