East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
